Friday, February 18, 2011

Worst Place

February 18, 2011

Here I am, eating my salad in the worst place one should be when feeling crappy about yourself: at the ABS-CBN compound. I am eating caesar's salad for dinner when on a normal day I would be eating a steak or some piece of pork chop with 2 cups of rice.

At 26, 3 years into my marriage, I am at my heaviest weight ever in my life. Not that I've ever been model thin. My normal weight range was always in the 125-130 pound range. The lowest weight I've been was 118. I am now huffing and puffing through 2 flights of stairs at 155 pounds.

How the hell did I get here?

Was it the late night dinners of cheeseburgers from McDonald's? Or was it the pizza from Yellow Cab?

Was it the tall white chocolate mocha I get almost 3 times a week when I'm busy writing my papers at Starbucks? Or was it their pastry line?

Was it Nestea Iced Tea during our stay-at-home-movie-nights? Or was it my husband's delicious cup of instant coffee with loads of creamer and sugar?

I could go on and on about the food that we ate, but there is a big issue at hand. I am at least 25 pounds overweight.

It never really bothered me that I was bigger than most girls. I know I have a bigger bone structure than girls my age. I was generally confident with my physical attributes until…

…I could not button my favorite pair of jeans anymore

…I saw my muffin top over my underwear garter

…my brother told me that my backside resembled something like a bell jar.

Now that the comments like this are becoming more frequent, I have decided that I have to take this losing weight business seriously. I have put my body in its worst state ever in my life and it is time to bounce back.

I started not eating rice last Saturday. I also refused to drink iced tea on the same day. My husband serves me black coffee now with less sugar.

I hold on to my brother's weight loss experience as an example. He was morbidly obese at 260 pounds and had diabetes at 15. He started a no rice diet when he was 19, started exercising everyday. Now, at 21, his weight ranges from 165 to 170 pounds. He stands 5 feet 11 inches. He is currently working his abs and starting to get those obliques. What's funny is that I was the one who suggested the "No Rice" to the kid. The joke is on me.

*grunt*  Excuse me while I finish this plate of lettuce.

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